I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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