That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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