It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so let's talk penis.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
