Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
