Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
