so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
