Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
