did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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