whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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