I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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