My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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