im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
