Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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