oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
