i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
