I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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