Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
