don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
