okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
