Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
