porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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