grandma shit on top of the toilet
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just found puke in my bra..
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
