So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dignity is for republicans.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
