I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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