He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
