god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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