who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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