oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
