He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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