yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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