K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
