Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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