I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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