I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
