How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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