she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
