dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
