I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
