Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
