I think im going to throw up on grandma
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
