i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
last night I used snow as a chaser
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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