Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
