Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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