i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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