Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
