just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
