I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
