everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
