He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
