Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
