Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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