i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
