i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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