Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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