She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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